Whats rustling your jimmies?

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zombiewizardhawk

Potato del Grande
9,315
11,902
Same reason I blow through STOP signs and ignore those 5 MPH signs in shopping plazas. Private property signs not enforcable by tickets :p

Oh, so you're one of those motherfuckers who almost runs me over a few times a year.

They cut the water off to my building seemingly once a month to do maintenance or w/e the fuck they do, wake up a few minutes ago and it's off. Can't make my coffee and can't do the laundry I needed to do before work this evening now...
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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Same reason I blow through STOP signs and ignore those 5 MPH signs in shopping plazas. Private property signs not enforcable by tickets :p

I had a Cunt hit me once in a parking lot while I was backing out. She had an expired license. So even without the evidence that she pushed me into the car next to me, she clearly would have been ticketed and been at fault. But because it was in a parking lot, no ticket and the insurance companies decided it was my fault because my truck was in reverse. I hadn't even moved yet, truck was just in reverse.

She called her daddy and said "daddy it happened again. No. No. It was a taco bell this time". She was 18. How many fucking people has she hit in parking lots? I see why daddy didn't want her to renew that license.

But that was like 15 years ago. I'm not still pissed or anything.

Fucking Cunt I hope she hasn't hurt anyone other than herself with her shitty driving.
 

RobXIII

Urinal Cake Consumption King
<Gold Donor>
3,616
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Oh, so you're one of those motherfuckers who almost runs me over a few times a year.

Hah no. I just don't stop if nothing is coming. Never fast, unless it's an empty lot. You should only drive as fast as you can see (obscure quote?) The first girl I ever dated sounds like that 18 year old(she was 19). She would do 40 in a parking lot, almost hit people several times, then went the wrong way down a one way road. The relationship did not last.
 

Void

Experiencer
<Gold Donor>
9,374
10,987
You're the kind of idiot who will be taken by this. You don't need a license to drive in a parking lot around here and I'd wager that's pretty standard all over the US. Parking lots are private property, not public roadways.
Not to mention that if it were me, and I watched the cop leave and had been there long enough to begin thinking about asking complete strangers to move my car, I'm pretty sure I'd risk the infinitesimally small chance that the cop is hiding somewhere just waiting to pounce when I move the car. I mean, if all they are worried about is not getting towed, I think I'd risk moving it 50 fucking feet to a non-tow area. It's not like they were asking him to drive them home, right?

Clearly a scam, and probably for a robbery as already noted. Or fuck, maybe they'd claim the cop took their keys and ask if he could break into it for them and hotwire it too?!
 

Aldarion

Egg Nazi
8,815
24,055
People who call actresses "actors". I mean, WTF is gained by this? She's obviously a woman. She acts. The word you're looking for is actress.
 

Alasliasolonik

Toilet of the Mod Elect
<Banned>
4,908
9,890
Not me but the misses.

We were talking about some random thing...

Me: Yeah my older brother does that with them.
Her: wait a fucking second, you have an older brother?
Me: ohh yeah, I guess I forgot to tell you or ever bring it up.
Her: What the fuck!?
Me: I dont know, it never came up.

Weve been together like 7 years now, her jimmys are rustled.
 
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Gnomedolf

<Silver Donator>
15,796
99,179
Not me but the misses.

We were talking about some random thing...

Me: Yeah my older brother does that with them.
Her: wait a fucking second, you have an older brother?
Me: ohh yeah, I guess I forgot to tell you or ever bring it up.
Her: What the fuck!?
Me: I dont know, it never came up.

Weve been together like 7 years now, her jimmys are rustled.

I take it your family doesn’t gather for the holidays.
 

Ronaan

Molten Core Raider
1,092
436
This has been going on for a while now but let me elaborate:

Dec 30th 2017, my mom (age 81 then) fell and couldn't get up. She fell out of her bed sometime in the night and called me at 9AM so she wouldn't wake me up. I live like 20 miles away.
So I trek over, all the while planning how to get her up again. She's 125 kilos at this point so it will not be an easy feat.
She also called her sister, age 70 or so, and thinks this elderly woman can in any way assist in getting a 250 pound person up on her feet.
So I arrive and she has shit on her hands and everywhere around her. Ah fuck.
Call the equivalent of 911 and after a while a pair of young girls, one of them a 90lbs person, arrive. The three of us actually get her to sit on her bed again so everything is fine right? WRONG! She refuses to go to hospital. She can clearly not stay alone. I discuss until 4PM and finally she gives in.

Long story short, in the end she ends up in an old peoples home. I arrange everything. Getting her rented apartment empty, taking care of paperwork, doctors, everything.

I've been doing this for almost a year now and I don't care, she's my mother, I will take care of anything that needs taken care of.

But then there's my asshole brother, who's turning 60 this year, who didn't even visit mother on her 80th birthday, who visited her once in hospital on jan 2nd and that's all, and ever since then he has not once even called to ask how she's doing. She could be dead for all he knows. She has lost 40 kilos, had a pacemaker installed in april, can't walk anymore, and has been in a pretty bad shape for a while.

This asshole rustles my jimmies. To the max.
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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Not me but the misses.

We were talking about some random thing...

Me: Yeah my older brother does that with them.
Her: wait a fucking second, you have an older brother?
Me: ohh yeah, I guess I forgot to tell you or ever bring it up.
Her: What the fuck!?
Me: I dont know, it never came up.

Weve been together like 7 years now, her jimmys are rustled.

That's kind of awesome. I'm going to casually mention my non existent older brother to my wife and see if she buys it.

Gotta concoct a back story now. Maybe he was disowned for bringing Home a chink girlfriend.
 
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a c i d.f l y

ಠ_ಠ
<Silver Donator>
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This hangover. But shitposting drunk last night was fun, I guess.

Also, fuck allergies and cold weather. First hard freeze tonight.
 

Void

Experiencer
<Gold Donor>
9,374
10,987
Not me but the misses.

We were talking about some random thing...

Me: Yeah my older brother does that with them.
Her: wait a fucking second, you have an older brother?
Me: ohh yeah, I guess I forgot to tell you or ever bring it up.
Her: What the fuck!?
Me: I dont know, it never came up.

Weve been together like 7 years now, her jimmys are rustled.
I might have related this story before, but whatevs!

I'm about 30 at the time, and I'm talking to my mom about what she's going to get her mom for Christmas. She was really heavy into those Precious Moments figurines at the time, so she says she thinks she'll get her one of the rare ones that has a girl giving puppies away for adoption. Because it is appropriate or whatever she said. I'm like, appropriate? Who's adopted? (You're thinking me, but it isn't!)

She says, "I am, you idiot." Like she's saying how could I not know that?

I'm like, "Umm, you never told me that, I'm 100% positive that is something I would remember! Not to mention all those times I'd ask you shit when filling out health history forms, and I'd ask if Grandma had Diabetes Type I or II, etc. Why would you not fucking say, it doesn't matter, she's not your biological grandma?!" (I left out all the swear words, because I don't swear in front of my parents even today, but I wanted to!)

I swear to God, I had never once heard that my mom was adopted before that. My sister claimed she had known for years. I mean, I know I'm semi-retarded, but come on, that's not something I would forget.

Of course it comes up once every year or two and I get called a moron, but I remain steadfast in my belief that they never told me.
 
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Denamian

Night Janitor
<Nazi Janitors>
7,116
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Fuck this thing in particular

fuckthis.jpg
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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This post intentionally left blank.
 
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Koushirou

Log Wizard
<Gold Donor>
4,797
12,039
Whoever did this plow job (did the same thing to the entrance of the road slightly down the street as well so you can’t get in).

17695DCD-5B1E-47C1-AECA-683CB53EE97B.jpeg
 
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Burren

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
4,003
5,250
Went to Starbucks at 9:15 am in a super busy area.

Got back to car at 9:19 with coffee in hand; window broken and briefcase stolen with laptop and documents. Briefcase was itself 15+ years old and a gift, but also had other sentimental items in it. Laptop was for work and had EVERYTHING on it. Documents I don't have anywhere else.

Not a single mother fucking business had exterior cameras. Cops don't give a shit. I walked around the area for 2 hours looking for someone or maybe even the empty briefcase.

I am not above ending someone over this.
 
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Conefed

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,789
1,633
When somebody, especially those of higher rank, misunderstands me (due to their own inability); argues against a point I didn't make (due to their own inability); and then refuses correction (by justifying their own position, which I agree with, which is why I didn't make the argument they're fighting.)

Edit: I was so rustled, I gambled my job: Boss reamed me for a mistake, I could have been fired level of mistake and should have been appreciative that I wasn't, but instead I raised my voice in critique of his admonishment of me, highlighting his lack of comprehension of the finer points of my mistake.
 
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