Whats rustling your jimmies?

I've tried those things, they don't seem work on most dogs. They should have one for owners.

I work outdoors, pretty hard work but I like it. It was pretty hot when I got home and the woman next door left to go to work just after I got home, deadshit boyfriend from the next house came and let himself into the air conditioned house and let all the dogs out to bark at anything. No shade for them outside.

He's on welfare and lives with his father who is my age and hasn't worked for about thirty years, son is mid 30's and doesn't work. Nothing wrong with him, he does all sorts of stuff just gets paid not to work.

That's what really rustles me. Beer to the rescue.

There is a double merge I drive through regularly. The first merges two oncoming lanes and then that lane merges with a 70mph bypass.
I'm approaching the first intersecting point and the other vehicle (SUV) isn't slowing even though they have the yield. It'll be close, but I think instead of timing their merge to end behind me and us both go fast, they're going to speed up at the last moment to squeak by me and force me to brake a smidge
and they did
no biggie
no rustle
but then
immediately they break
We're not even to the next merge section, we are on an easy to handle curve, which I think is closer to a straight for them. Why the fuck run a yield sign and cut somebody off if you're going to break?? I see the driver, it's an old lady and she is looking at me in her rear view. She looks apologetic as if she wants a take back, as if she is regretting her move and wants to return to the yield. Fuck you bitch. Keep the fuck going. We've sunk 15mph down to 30-fucking-5 mph. And you're looking back at me?? Move you cunt.
As soon as the lanes widened, before the paint, I passed her ass and set my cruise at 79.5.

Im sure this has been posted before, but the douchebags that pass you then right after they have moved over back in front of you slam on their brakes to make a turn. Even more so when it is a left turn and there is traffic coming. I need a massive brush guard with ramming bumpers on my truck ><.

Two roosters...fuck these roosters. All of a sudden my neighbors have two roosters that caw every 2 mins starting at 5:20 AM. Until who knows when and it is loud as fuck. It is against the HOA to have farm animals but I give it another 3 days before I shoot them.

More reason that vehicles should be driven by robots.

Yep, truck means: Must pass.

Truck and woodchipper: Must pass and cut back in front.

Hatorade_sl said:

Two roosters...fuck these roosters. All of a sudden my neighbors have two roosters that caw every 2 mins starting at 5:20 AM. Until who knows when and it is loud as fuck. It is against the HOA to have farm animals but I give it another 3 days before I shoot them.

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Most places have ordinances against owning roosters. I'd complain to your town board about it.

Edit- didn't see you already said it, opps. But yeah owning your own chickens is the hobby farm fad now. We get a lot of clueless people in here buying poultry with no idea how to raise them.

People waiting for the elevator who stand 6" away directly in front of the doors and then act annoyed that you want off at the floor they're on before they get on.

Leadsalad_sl said:

People waiting for the elevator who stand 6" away directly in front of the doors and then act annoyed that you want off at the floor they're on before they get on.

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I might have mentioned this story in this thread already, but it warms my heart so I'll tell it again:

Once on the metro this stupid woman was standing on the station platform right in front of the goddamn doors of a crowded, rush-hour train when it pulled up to the station. When the doors opened, there was this jacked dude who was well over 6 feet tall. He saw her standing there and not moving as people tried to get off the train, so instead of stepping around her like everyone else he grabbed her by her arms just under each shoulder, picked her up several inches off the ground, walked off the train and put her down near the back of the platform. It was wonderful, although I'm surprised she didn't start blowing a rape whistle or something.

Leadsalad_sl said:

People waiting for the elevator who stand 6" away directly in front of the doors and then act annoyed that you want off at the floor they're on before they get on.

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Along the same theme; Walking onto an elevator that's empty, but you can smell someone's rancid, rotting teeth and gums...

xadion_sl said:

Gluten free evangelists.

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Since New Year's Day (so about 15 shifts now) I've gotten NO LESS than 3 people per shift who are "alergic to gluten". Fuck you, cunts. Everybody knows you're just a lying sack of shit who isn't actually alergic but are just trying to hop on a fucking new years resolution diet that you won't stick with because you're a lazy piece of shit with no heart. Speaking of resolutions, why the fuck do people need a special day to make them? If you actually had any resolve you would already be doing that shit. It's not a fucking resolution when you do it for 3 weeks to make yourself feel like you're not a worthless twat and then stop because it's almost February and "there's always next year".

Lejina_sl said:

Taking a piss, giving it the appropriate shake, putting it back in my pants and then feelings a light drizzle of urine coming out.

God fucking dammit.

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Wizardhawk_sl said:

Since New Year's Day (so about 15 shifts now) I've gotten NO LESS than 3 people per shift who are "alergic to gluten". Fuck you, cunts. Everybody knows you're just a lying sack of shit who isn't actually alergic but are just trying to hop on a fucking new years resolution diet that you won't stick with because you're a lazy piece of shit with no heart. Speaking of resolutions, why the fuck do people need a special day to make them? If you actually had any resolve you would already be doing that shit. It's not a fucking resolution when you do it for 3 weeks to make yourself feel like you're not a worthless twat and then stop because it's almost February and "there's always next year".

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It's like you're me talking to my wife every year.

Here is how you handle those resolution diets yo.

Wizardhawk_sl said:

Since New Year's Day (so about 15 shifts now) I've gotten NO LESS than 3 people per shift who are "alergic to gluten". Fuck you, cunts. Everybody knows you're just a lying sack of shit who isn't actually alergic but are just trying to hop on a fucking new years resolution diet that you won't stick with because you're a lazy piece of shit with no heart. Speaking of resolutions, why the fuck do people need a special day to make them? If you actually had any resolve you would already be doing that shit. It's not a fucking resolution when you do it for 3 weeks to make yourself feel like you're not a worthless twat and then stop because it's almost February and "there's always next year".

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So my close friend actually has celiac disease - but was diagnoesed in early 2000. Dude was not having a good time, low energy, breakouts, anemia etc. Now he is fine after going gluten free. All that said, this fad of gluten free food is good for one thing, it helps those who actually are afflicted have more options other than shitactular rice patties and gluten free bread that tastes like stale taint.

RobXIII_sl said:

More gluten loaded food for me to pig out on! Mmmm Pasta..

Our dog was outside barking for literally the 2 minutes my wife was in the bathroom, grumpy neighbors called animal control who actually came over lol. I hate some people. I wouldve let her in but going AFK in H1Z1 is not so hot.

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This is when I find out the legal limit of how long you can have a barking dog (5 minutes per hour from 8:00am-9:00pm for me) and I make the most of the allotted time. I have a mini-aussie that loves to bark but so far it seems that I am the only person who is actually annoyed by it (it probably helps that I'm really quick to get her inside once she gets going). Nice living in a dog-friendly neighborhood.

My current rustle, est. in 2012 Seahawks fans. They love to randomly yell "SEA!" in hopes that one of their brethren yells back "HAWKS!" In bars, walking down the street, in the produce section of the grocery store... it is annoying as fuck. This isn't just on gameday either, they were doing it in the middle of June last year.