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They might be really impressed with his dick and reconsider their whole position on him.

This phrase made me laugh. I'm a bad person.

Yeah, this is one of many things about parenting that is both awesome and crappy. You want your kids to learn and advance, but it's bitter sweet when they do because they start to rely less and less on you. One big one I remember each time was "Hooray, my kid can walk!" while simultaneously...

I'm dang excited. I'll watch the shit out of this.

Projectile GIFs? That's a tall order...

Watching this made me pee a little.

I'm so fucking tired right now, and I have a whole day more to do tomorrow.

Been building a 125 foot retaining wall with rocks that we've been collecting from various places. Every time someone posts they want to get rid of a pond or similar, I tell them I'll come and take all their rocks away. As a result, today I'm making this retaining wall, which will enable me to...

I think you. I don't know why, but I fully believe you're entirely responsible for this whole situation.

This is awesome. What kind of gifs will motivate you? Falling gifs are already spoken for. Flying? You tell us.

I only go to casinos for the buffet. I never gamble. Cheap food, though.

It's not good news for all the OSB. When it gets wet it tends to turn into cornflakes. Get the contractor's business card, register a complaint with Lowes, and if there are any issues within a year go after them because they left it like this. Honestly, they could have put the roofing clad on in...

Who wouldn't want this bouncing around the yard?

Not a bucket. A sock.

You're talking about children, right? Because if that's all you're doing for a dog that's abuse, man.