Girls who broke your heart thread

Hollywood could take notes from some of the shit stated in this thread. Comedic gold.

NBC or ABC might buy it... group of guys sharing these amusing stories about how they met their future ex wife...

We could get NPH to play the part of Dabamf ... and we could have Josh Radnor play Eomer!

No way could the show I"m envisioning be on network television.

AlexTheDictator said:

No way could the show I"m envisioning be on network television.

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Really? I think this is Skinemax gold.

Whats awesome about all of this- The next time Dabamf fucks a chick, he is going to be afraid she will shit the bed, kitchen floor, top of the washing machine, back of the Volkswagen, etc...

Dabamf said:

I was hoping to return from work and get some "lol you must be a virgin it is obviously..."

Instead the reaction is more mortified than I was. Shit.

I talked to her about it and suggested she go to doc. And I guess I"m gonna have to go get tested for ebola

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Haha I haven"t read the rest of the thread but the ebola line has me laughing hard as hell hahahaha.

opiate82 said:

I"m still going to go with old period blood followed by you stuck it in the wrong hole and apparently she didn"t care (which would be a win for you I guess).

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Haha yeah Dabamf got free anal without knowing it and brought it up to her making sure it never happens again. Oh well I guess seeing the results would make one not want it again anyway lol.

Divinefactor said:

NBC or ABC might buy it... group of guys sharing these amusing stories about how they met their future ex wife...

We could get NPH to play the part of Dabamf ... and we could have Josh Radnor play Eomer!

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Hurtful

Dabamf said:

I was hoping to return from work and get some "lol you must be a virgin it is obviously..."

Instead the reaction is more mortified than I was. Shit.

I talked to her about it and suggested she go to doc. And I guess I"m gonna have to go get tested for ebola

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Oh noes. A tiny bit of poop on bedsheets. The world is ending.

The replies to my story are amazing. It"s almost worth that horrifying event just to read them.

A little detail I left out: when I got up to throw away the condom, she went into the bathroom to wash up. When I saw the damage, I inspected it, then immediately went back to the kitchen to pretend I was doing something until she came out, at which point I went into the bathroom so that she would see it and, most likely being mortified and embarrassed, try to clean it up before I saw it.

I came out and she mentioned something about it, and I just said "no problem I"ll just wash the blanket tomorrow." So the convo the next day wasn"t that awkward.

I"d give accidental anal like a 1% chance. I think I"d know. Plus, it didn"t smell like shit. At ALL. I"ve never seen fresh shit that doesn"t smell like shit. It always does. And christ, it"s not that color.

Anyway, waiting about 2 weeks to get feline aids test, and no news on her pending doctor visit.

It depends on what you had to eat. If she was taking in a lot of fluids the previous day or two it could cause accidental brown squirts with partially digested food in it. Given how kimchi tends to overpower other smells I would guess there are plenty of foods that would make shit smell less shitty over there in that sort of situation.

intelnavi said:

You must have fucked the shit out of her.

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hahaah this is good

On a somewhat related note, last night at a somewhat seedy club, I introduce myself to a girl.
"Hi, my name is...",
her response
"I LOVE ANAL SEX!!!11"

Had me stumped, how do you respond to that. lol

rinthea said:

Had me stumped, how do you respond to that. lol

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Simple.

rinthea said:

hahaah this is good

On a somewhat related note, last night at a somewhat seedy club, I introduce myself to a girl.
"Hi, my name is...",
her response
"I LOVE ANAL SEX!!!11"

Had me stumped, how do you respond to that. lol

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"Your place or mine? Or hell how does my car sound?"

Tenks said:

Yeah the only bigger turnoff to make a chick"s pussy clamp up like the friendzone is driving the most faggot vehicle in the world, a Scion xB.

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My wife drives a Scion xA. I would prefer to be seen in an xB than the fucker"s gay little sister.