The Northman (2022)

Koushirou

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Manliest movie of the year (though, I guess that's not saying much). This was pretty badass.
 
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Blitz

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Saw this today, for an early movie there was a solid amount of people.

I enjoyed the movie, it's pacing was somewhat similar to, say, The Green Knight? More activity, but it's a slow burn for sure. It wasn't the most entertaining movie, and I don't think I'd call it a masterpiece, but it was definitely a darker, well-made Viking epic. Definitely worth seeing.

Plus an all-white cast, holy shit, that's worth supporting by itself.
 
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Koushirou

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I don’t know if my eyesight was just bad or what, but I was looking for them and didn’t even see any dongs, CG or otherwise… :( Well, except Willem Dafoe’s wooden dick.
 
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TomServo

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Saw this today, for an early movie there was a solid amount of people.

I enjoyed the movie, it's pacing was somewhat similar to, say, The Green Knight? More activity, but it's a slow burn for sure. It wasn't the most entertaining movie, and I don't think I'd call it a masterpiece, but it was definitely a darker, well-made Viking epic. Definitely worth seeing.

Plus an all-white cast, holy shit, that's worth supporting by itself.
Green knight sucked ass. Not winning anyone over with that comparison.
 
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Randin

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Saw this today, for an early movie there was a solid amount of people.

I enjoyed the movie, it's pacing was somewhat similar to, say, The Green Knight? More activity, but it's a slow burn for sure. It wasn't the most entertaining movie, and I don't think I'd call it a masterpiece, but it was definitely a darker, well-made Viking epic. Definitely worth seeing.

Plus an all-white cast, holy shit, that's worth supporting by itself.
I'd say the comparisons to the Green Knight are at least somewhat justified, with similar slower pacing. That said, not nearly as artsy-fartsy as Green Knight was.

Also, as a medieval history nerd, I was happy to see they actually did quite well with the historical accuracy. There's certainly stuff I could flag as inaccurate or fictionalized, but compared to most historical shows or movies nowadays, this was quite well done.

So yeah, I liked it.
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
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I was telling my woman about this to see if she wanted to go see it. The conversation ended with "Of COURSE Willem Dafoe has a wooden dick"
 
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nu_11

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rating 8/10 (5/10 is average)

The first part of the movie including the northman attacking the village is 10/10. With robert eggers directing the entire movie is a 10/10 in cinematography and art.

I just wanted to see the northman go on a rampage through most of the movie, unfortunately, the middle part of the movie brings it down. It really slows down and focuses too much on mysticism and a poor love story with very little action. Fortunately the movie ends with a good battle.

I do have a problem with the action that is in the movie. In the first part of the movie he dominates (which is cool), at the end it's an even fight (which is cool), but in the middle he's cucked out.

In order to get my fill of action I might have to rewatch The 13th Warrior. That movie was cool. Some outsider joins a group of battle-hardened northern warriors and fucks up some cave savages. No pointless love story (that I remember), rather just men being heroic badasses.
 
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Blitz

<Bronze Donator>
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rating 8/10 (5/10 is average)

The first part of the movie including the northman attacking the village is 10/10. With robert eggers directing the entire movie is a 10/10 in cinematography and art.

I just wanted to see the northman go on a rampage through most of the movie, unfortunately, the middle part of the movie brings it down. It really slows down and focuses too much on mysticism and a poor love story with very little action. Fortunately the movie ends with a good battle.

I do have a problem with the action that is in the movie. In the first part of the movie he dominates (which is cool), at the end it's an even fight (which is cool), but in the middle he's cucked out.

In order to get my fill of action I might have to rewatch The 13th Warrior. That movie was cool. Some outsider joins a group of battle-hardened northern warriors and fucks up some cave savages. No pointless love story (that I remember), rather just men being heroic badasses.

Mostly, agree with this. It needed a few more fight scenes, oddly enough.
 

Fight

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I am a huge Eggers fan. The Lighthouse is one of my favorite movies in recent years.

So, I saw this with a few friends this weekend. So, how was The Northman? It was... ok. Like a 6/10. I don't know how anyone could call it a masterpiece. Especially, from a guy in Eggers who has already created masterpieces.

The action in the movie is choreographed so slow and plodding (except for the final battle). The rest of it feels like it is in slow motion most of the time because it is attempting to feel "heavy" or impactful or something. But that is a minor complaint compared to the story and pacing. At no point did the story feel interesting or original. And as for the pacing, starting your first 30 minutes in the past, with younger actors can always be dangerous. It can give your movie two distinct feels that you have to meld together, it can just look off if you don't age the cast correctly, and it can make your audience "look at their watch" as to say to themselves, "how much we got left here?".

Quite frankly, it was not a fun watch. The movie looks great and the actors all performed well. It all just didn't come together to form anything interesting or memorable. It was a fine movie, but lacked that special something.
 
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Ossoi

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Also, this movie was just dumb at parts - like the kid not running away at the beginning, or the brother not giving the command to look for him until after they killed the dad. Or the ease of his escape. Or the way he wasn't shackled at night and could do whatever he wanted to lmao
 
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Campbell1oo4

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Movie felt made for me. Berserkers. Mysticism. Some shots look like paintings. No forced identity bullshit.

10/10 would howl at the screen again
 
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